“They Call Me a Monster!”

They don’t whisper it quietly,  they laugh when they say it. Some run away when I walk into class, some stare like I’m something to be scared of. I try not to cry. I tell myself it’s okay, that maybe one day they’ll stop. But they never do.

My name is Raymuni Ayam, I’m 14 years old, and I live in a small village in Chhattisgarh. Since I was little, I’ve had a swollen lump near my mouth, a lump that keeps growing with me. It’s painful, heavy, and ugly, at least that’s what people make me feel.

I’ve forgotten what it feels like to smile freely. When I do, people stare.

When I eat, it hurts. My jaw doesn’t move properly. Sometimes I can’t even chew food, and my mother has to mash everything soft so I can swallow. I see the sadness in her eyes when she feeds me, pretending to be strong.

My father, Rajendra, works as a daily wage labourer, earning barely ₹400 a day, but he still saves every rupee, saying, “Yeh Raymuni ke ilaaj ke liye.”

I’ve had two surgeries already. Both times I believed, this will be the one. But the lump came back. My face twisted even more. The swelling spread. Each time I woke up after surgery, I hoped to see myself different in the mirror,  but nothing changed. Sometimes I wish mirrors didn’t exist at all.

Now, the doctors at CG Hospital, Raipur, say that I need another major surgery. This time, it will cost ₹5,70,800. My father’s hands shook when he heard that number. He looked at my mother and said nothing, just quietly stepped outside. That night, I heard him crying. It was the first time I’d ever seen my father cry.

My parents have already spent more than ₹50,000 on my treatments by borrowing money and skipping meals. They try not to show me their struggles, but I hear their whispers late at night. My mother prays, “Bhagwan, meri beti ko bas ek normal chehra de de.”

Sometimes I sit by the window and watch other children play outside. I want to join them, but I’m scared they’ll laugh again. I dream of a day when no one points, no one whispers.

 When I can just be normal. I don’t want to be called “brave” or “strong.” I just want to be like everyone else, a girl who can eat, laugh, smile, and make friends.

I’m only 14, but I feel older because of the pain I carry. I don’t remember what it’s like to live without fear or shame. I’ve stopped hoping for beauty, I just want peace.

Please, if you’re reading this, help me. Not because I’m different, but because I want to live like you, without pain, without stares, without being called a monster. I just want one chance… one chance to smile and feel human again.